


you shall be my eve (phantoms surround us)

by thewhiteviolin



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, I dont know really, POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Reader is gender neutral, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, but i wrote this with a girl in mind, i GUESS this is sort of a fix-it?, if that bothers you then dont read ig idk, vanya and her rarely discussed anxiety disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 02:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21189959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewhiteviolin/pseuds/thewhiteviolin
Summary: "Are you scared of hurting someone? Are you scared you're going to kill someone again, Vanya?"— You sound like a therapist. Vanya hates it.





	you shall be my eve (phantoms surround us)

_if the gates of hell should break_  
_and cover every city in rattlesnakes,_  
then you shall be my eve.

* * *

"I am, scared," she speaks lowly, her eyes trained on the coffee table in front of her. She's sat opposite of you, on the floral print love-seat you had picked up at an estate sale. It's hideous, really. You would've gotten rid of it already, if Vanya hadn't taken such a liking to the tacky pattern and ratty fabric. Her position is making her feel anxious though, like she's being interrogated for a crime you suspect she committed. You watch as she fidgets with her sleeve—a telltale sign she was anxious. There's a quiet moment before you respond, you count the seconds in your head—not responding for too long will cause her to get more anxious. Collecting the words in your brain takes long enough, and Vanya's just starting to dig her neatly trimmed nails into the palm of her hand when you speak.

"Of what, Vanya?" Your voice is gentle, nonthreatening but yet, Vanya still tenses, "of hurting someone?" You sound like a therapist, but there's really no other way to go about this. She's been wearing herself down for months, you know why, but she refuses to talk about it without you practically forcing it out of her. You didn't enjoy forcing Vanya to do things, you felt too much like _him_. Even things like eating, or taking basic care of herself, you felt horrible when you told her to do those things. She always looked at you with this sad, distant look in her eye and every time, you felt like a knife was being thrust in your gut and twisted one-eighty degrees. Blinking, you tried to tuck these thoughts away in a mental cubby hole, to be unpacked later. "Are you scared you're going to kill someone again, Vanya?" The tone in your voice was too close to his, too close to sounding condescending, and you watched as she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly for a moment. "Van, I'm sorry, I just want to—"

"Help, you just want to help," Vanya finishes your sentence, looking up at you with the same look you were thinking of before, "I know. I'm sorry, Y/N." Vanya's voice is oh, so fragile, and you want to scoop her up and tell her she's _okay_, that she's done nothing wrong, but you both know lying will do nothing but make this worse now. "I... I am scared, of— of hurting someone _again_, of even killing someone again. I'm scared I'm going to hurt you, Y/N, that I'm going to become a monster again—"

"What did I tell you about talking down to yourself like that? You are not—you have never been—a monster." you sound like a therapist. Vanya hates it. "You have gone through too much, survived too much, to just talk about yourself like that, I won't allow it, not in this lifetime." You swallow, looking down for a moment. Usually it was Vanya who was avoiding eye contact, looking at everything but you, but now, it was reversed. Her eyes were focused on you, and only you. "I made a promise to you, many moons ago, to love you. To protect you, to keep you from hurting anyone again. I think I've kept my word so far, don't you?" 

"Y/N, you don't know that I'm not just gonna _snap_ one day," she doesn't sound like herself anymore. She sounded more akin to a child, than the thirty-year-old who sat in front of you. "_I _don't know if that'll happen, but I don't want to hurt you."

"Maybe that's why I need to stay around, then," you looked up, catching her gaze and offered her a small, loving smile, "to help you if you do. I'm not leaving you, V, I don't know why you try anymore. You're not going to scare me off. You have told me countless stories, I've heard graphic depictions of what you've done from your siblings, but I'm still here. Do you want to know why?" Before she could respond, you were moving from the couch to sit on the edge of the coffee table, your knees resting against Vanya's. She stared at you for a moment before darting her eyes away, landing on your hands. 

"Why?" Vanya's voice was so quiet, you could barely hear it. To any other living creature in the apartment, you were sure it was nothing more than an exhale.

Gently grabbing her left hand with your own, you laced your fingers together, "because I love you, Vanya. I love you for who you are, for how strong you feel things, for how you lose control sometimes, for every demon lurking in the back of your mind right now," you gave her hand a squeeze, "I love you, Vanya. I am here. I'm not going anywhere," her lips were set in a thin line, eyes tracing the veins in your hand, "we can do this together. I'm going to help you, V, even if I have to die trying," at that, her eyes shot up to yours, wide in fear. "It's just a saying, Vanya, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," you paused, "but I meant it."

"Thank you," she whispered. You gave her a smile in return, leaning forward to press a tender kiss to her lips, followed by a kiss to her forehead.

"It's what I'm here for, Vanya." 

You two sat like that for a few more minutes. Vanya had no idea silence could be so serene, so... comfortable. You listened closely to the sound of her breathing, looking for any hitches or increase in speed to tell you she was getting too in her head again. When she did speak, it was soft, as if she didn't want to break the quiet of the room.

"Allison invited us over for dinner with her and Claire," it was an offer, but she didn't say more. You hummed, a nonverbal way of asking her to elaborate. "Do you wanna go?"

"Do _you_?"

She thinks for a moment, before nodding slowly, "I think so."

"I'll go take a shower, then," you smiled softly, standing up and stretching yourself out, starting toward the bathroom but pausing, your hand resting on the doorframe, "but, um, Vanya?" 

Vanya looked up at you, her eyes resembling the sunlight in the afternoon, golden and so, so gorgeous. A smile tugged at your lips. "Hm?"

"You're not _the White Violin_ to me, you never have been. You're just Vanya, Vanya with incredible, amazing powers. Vanya, with an amazing talent and an even more amazing music taste," she looked down at her lap, not used to being complimented so heavily, "Vanya, who I'm in love with." Her brown hair fell in her face, a few strands covering her eyes when she looked back up at you, a grin stretching across her lips. 

"You know," her voice sounded similar to the way a hot shower _felt_; soothing, relaxing, and scalding, "I think I'll join you in the shower," she finished as she approached you. You chuckled, grabbing her hand and leading her in the bathroom. You felt like you were sixteen again, sneaking around to have sex with your first girlfriend, and you erupted in giggles when Vanya started to seductively take her clothes off. The only noises you could hear were your heartbeats mixing together, and the sound of your giggles dominating the beat of the water against the shower wall. 

For the first time in her life, Vanya Hargreeves felt happy.

* * *

_phantoms come and surround us _  
_as we fuck, golden, every apple that we pluck_  
_every morning born, anew,_  
_ and hanging from the trees,_  
_ the strangest fruit_  
but you shall be my eve.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys liked this! i might make this into a series, soooo make sure to like, let me know if that's a good idea? and also, constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> comments, kudos, and bookmarks fuel my fire.
> 
> my tumblr is stratocasters n my twitter is alphastype (the L in alpha is an i) if you wanna follow me, hit me up about this, or just wanna talk to me about vanya hargreeves!


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